Can successful people be unhappy?

Most people think success will make them happy, but we come across lots of people who are unhappy despite being highly successful. What makes successful people unhappy? This is a complex question, and can’t be answered in a brief note. Moreover, while trying to give a simple answer one runs the risk of being simplistic.

I discuss below three main characteristics of all happy people. Whenever we ignore these traits in our mad rush for success, we end up being unhappy because essentially we are going fast nowhere!

1.    Learn to live

Good health is the solid foundation on which the mansion of happiness stands. This fact hits most people hard soon after they reach 40 years when they get glimpses of the mortality of their body. Good health does not mean mere absence of diseases; it means presence of abundant energy to live life to the fullest. Happy people have lots of physical energy, and they take extreme care of body and mind to maintain this high energy level. They know energy is the essence of living. They do not drain out precious energy by negative habits or by negative thoughts. They have learned to live by enjoying all good things in life with responsibility.

2.    Learn to love

Love is the ground floor of the mansion of happiness. Without this no sky-high structure of happiness can be built. Love is not necessarily only the romantic love. Love is to mind what energy is to the body. The lover can be an individual, an activity or the whole universe. All happy people know very well that happiness lies in love, not in the lover. They dedicate themselves for the good of the lover, not for the goods of the lover. They have learned to love by giving more than what they get.

3.    Learn to laugh

Death is the final floor of the mansion of happiness. Death is a great equalizer because it wipes out all personal sense of achievements. All happy people are acutely aware that death can visit any time. This awareness does not paralyze them but helps them to laugh at life, and at themselves. Awareness of death can be a useful tool as beautifully captured by Steve Jobs in Stanford University commencement address, June 2005:

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. ... Stay hungry. Stay foolish."
 
The more one knows about the truth and beauty of life, the more opportunities one finds to laugh. One can truly win over death only when one’s achievements contribute to the progress and happiness of next generations. All happy people have learned to laugh by living in the present moment without worry for the future or guilt of the past.

Happiness is much more than chasing pleasure. It is a state of joyful harmony that exists everywhere in the universe, both inside and outside of us. We need to learn how to connect to it by following three simple steps: Live, Love and Laugh. Learn is not the fourth step; it is the process of climbing up these steps. Happiness may not follow success, but success follows happiness when we have mastered climbing these steps in the ladder of life.